It is often said that you don’t really understand the value of a person until he/she is gone. In other words, it is after a person’s absence that you miss his/her presence. Too deep, isn’t? Well, we both ride the same wagon. Honestly, I am not an emotional person. I never took such statements too seriously but then something happened which changed my entire perspective. On 30th October 2018, I lost a key member of my family.
Her name was Kailash Ahluwalia but we used to call her ‘Buji’. I know its a strange name and personally, I have been trying to find the person who did the naamkaran of the same. Don’t get me wrong. I won’t hurt or abuse that person. Actually, I will do the opposite of that. See, if you Google the word ‘Buji’, you will find its meaning to be- ‘Your optimism and kindness are infectious, as you strive to make others happy through acts of generosity’. That’s the exact definition of the woman that I knew as ‘Kailash Ahluwalia’. It's quite rare that the meaning of our name matches our qualities. In this case, it's a perfect match. Honestly, the person behind the naamkaran must be a genius or the universe itself wrote the story of Kailash Ahluwalia. Anyway, let’s get back to the day which turned my world upside down.
I clearly remember that it was 11:40 pm at night when my buji took her last breath in front of me and my family. It was a moment of utmost sadness. There was a lot of crying which at that moment seemed necessary. After we gained our senses, we were a little happy that our buji finally got some relief from her internal demons. Why? At the age of 88 years, a person only wishes to go peacefully. Luckily, that’s what our buji did. After doing so much for my family and her loved ones, god had to do something good for her. You must be wondering why I am treating this woman with such dignity? Well, it’s not just because she is my family member but because of the things that she did for her loved ones that helped her gain so much respect.
Without wasting any more time, let’s dive into the story of Kailash Ahluwalia. My buji was 5 ft tall and she used to weigh around 30 kilograms but her temper was more dangerous than an angry jatt. It was pretty easy to piss her off. What was the secret? Well, just don’t listen to her and after a few minutes, you will see a small yet an angry jatt tailing your ass. It was fun to watch. There is no doubt that she had a bad temper but her endless love used to hide that away. Since the beginning, my buji dedicated her life to the betterment of our family.
Whether it's taking care of her ailing father or providing emotional and financial support to her brother, she is a modern example of Mother India. She decided to ignore the path of marriage only to stay with her lonely father. I don’t think a 21st-century woman will have the guts to do the same. After her father died, she decided to live alone like an independent woman. During that time, she made a few friends who worshipped her like a goddess. Why? Well, my buji always stood with them in their tough times. Even the strangers in her locality had immense respect for her. All of that could be easily seen on her Kriya puja when most of them came to pay their last respects.
She lived her early days like a ‘Thakuraen’ but unfortunately, she had to sacrifice all of that when she moved into my home. She and I had a strange relationship. She was my father’s bua but she always treated me like her own kid. I am not a talkative person so I always ignored a one on one chat with her. I know she hated this but she never made a huge deal out of it because she loved me so much that she was willing to ignore her own feelings in order to make me happy. She always greeted me with a smile even when I was angry at her. No matter what the occasion was, she always had a bucket full of money to shell out at me. For the last 25 years, she used to celebrate my birthday like Diwali. I can keep on pouring such examples that show the kind of love she had for me and my family.
When I think about it, I am sad that I had a strange relationship with my buji. I guess there was a learning curve where I finally understood her true nature. Unfortunately, by then it was too late. Today, someone asked me what is my biggest regret. My answer was quite simple- Not telling my buji that I love her. I was truly honoured to do the Antim Sanskar of my buji. Hopefully, this may have brought a smile on her face and showed her how much I love her.
3 days after her death, I decided to write this article to honour her memory. It will take days to process the fact that my buji is no longer among us. I hope she is in a better place and living her afterlife to the fullest. I am going to miss that evergreen smile for sure.
Her name was Kailash Ahluwalia but we used to call her ‘Buji’. I know its a strange name and personally, I have been trying to find the person who did the naamkaran of the same. Don’t get me wrong. I won’t hurt or abuse that person. Actually, I will do the opposite of that. See, if you Google the word ‘Buji’, you will find its meaning to be- ‘Your optimism and kindness are infectious, as you strive to make others happy through acts of generosity’. That’s the exact definition of the woman that I knew as ‘Kailash Ahluwalia’. It's quite rare that the meaning of our name matches our qualities. In this case, it's a perfect match. Honestly, the person behind the naamkaran must be a genius or the universe itself wrote the story of Kailash Ahluwalia. Anyway, let’s get back to the day which turned my world upside down.
I clearly remember that it was 11:40 pm at night when my buji took her last breath in front of me and my family. It was a moment of utmost sadness. There was a lot of crying which at that moment seemed necessary. After we gained our senses, we were a little happy that our buji finally got some relief from her internal demons. Why? At the age of 88 years, a person only wishes to go peacefully. Luckily, that’s what our buji did. After doing so much for my family and her loved ones, god had to do something good for her. You must be wondering why I am treating this woman with such dignity? Well, it’s not just because she is my family member but because of the things that she did for her loved ones that helped her gain so much respect.
Without wasting any more time, let’s dive into the story of Kailash Ahluwalia. My buji was 5 ft tall and she used to weigh around 30 kilograms but her temper was more dangerous than an angry jatt. It was pretty easy to piss her off. What was the secret? Well, just don’t listen to her and after a few minutes, you will see a small yet an angry jatt tailing your ass. It was fun to watch. There is no doubt that she had a bad temper but her endless love used to hide that away. Since the beginning, my buji dedicated her life to the betterment of our family.
Whether it's taking care of her ailing father or providing emotional and financial support to her brother, she is a modern example of Mother India. She decided to ignore the path of marriage only to stay with her lonely father. I don’t think a 21st-century woman will have the guts to do the same. After her father died, she decided to live alone like an independent woman. During that time, she made a few friends who worshipped her like a goddess. Why? Well, my buji always stood with them in their tough times. Even the strangers in her locality had immense respect for her. All of that could be easily seen on her Kriya puja when most of them came to pay their last respects.
She lived her early days like a ‘Thakuraen’ but unfortunately, she had to sacrifice all of that when she moved into my home. She and I had a strange relationship. She was my father’s bua but she always treated me like her own kid. I am not a talkative person so I always ignored a one on one chat with her. I know she hated this but she never made a huge deal out of it because she loved me so much that she was willing to ignore her own feelings in order to make me happy. She always greeted me with a smile even when I was angry at her. No matter what the occasion was, she always had a bucket full of money to shell out at me. For the last 25 years, she used to celebrate my birthday like Diwali. I can keep on pouring such examples that show the kind of love she had for me and my family.
When I think about it, I am sad that I had a strange relationship with my buji. I guess there was a learning curve where I finally understood her true nature. Unfortunately, by then it was too late. Today, someone asked me what is my biggest regret. My answer was quite simple- Not telling my buji that I love her. I was truly honoured to do the Antim Sanskar of my buji. Hopefully, this may have brought a smile on her face and showed her how much I love her.
3 days after her death, I decided to write this article to honour her memory. It will take days to process the fact that my buji is no longer among us. I hope she is in a better place and living her afterlife to the fullest. I am going to miss that evergreen smile for sure.
